Overlord Rising

Session 2

The Ballad of Marcom Douchebag

In the early days of the resistance, hope was all but lost. The people, subjected to the merciless rule of the Overlord, bore his mark on their foreheads, and their lives were slightly more miserable than they had been before he arrived. But slowly, rumors began to spread: that the marks could be removed and a resistance group was forming; that they were fighting back against the Overlord, and winning; and that great heroes were emerging to lead the land back into a state of slightly less misery. At the forefront was the story of a singular hero, a brave holy warrior, which started in the taverns and brothels — mostly brothels — and spread like chlamydia into the hearts of the peasantry: the Ballad of Marcom Douchebag.

The Ballad of Marcom Douchebag
-—————————————-

The greatest of men, as history tells – the Douchebags so strong and so tall!
Yet in our very age, he answered our call. Marcom, the best Douchebag of all!

In bold black ships, the Overlord came, from some far stretch of the sea;
Like waves of foul smoke his minions poured forth, to bring us to slavery.
Hunter and farmer, crafstman and miner, we fell to those who’d enslave us;
Yet to answer our prayers, a resistance arose, led by a hero who’d save us.

He started with naught but twenty scared men, and a handful of goats;
He called hundreds more, trained them all, to fight the men from the boats.
He rode down the roads with his great force: humans, dwarves, elves and kender;
And he slaughtered the men the Overlord sent… after offering each surrender.

The greatest of men, as history tells – the Douchebags so strong and so tall!
Yet in our very age, he answered our call. Marcom, the best Douchebag of all!

All through the land, he freed town after town, the Overlord’s grasp to break.
So the Overlord schemed, bartered his soul, and summoned an evil black drake.
Its eyes gleamed sin, its foul screech rang out, as it took to the sky;
Then into the night, if flew many leagues, to where Douschebag’s army did lie.

“Rouse yourselves! Spread far and wide!” – so came Douschebag’s brave shout;
His men grabbed their arms, and took to the woods, as the dragon lashed out.
The foul drake was fast, quicker than man, and would have slain the company;
Yet Douchebag jumped up, challenged the beast, to win them a chance to flee.

His armor was off, his sword was gone, yet Douchebag still had his might;
With naught but his fists, he pummelled the beast, and drove it into the night.
For hours at end, with fist and with claw, they each fought to end the strife;
He could have fled, but to save all his men, Douchebag laid down his life.

The greatest of men, as history tells – the Douchebags so strong and so tall!
Yet in our very age, he answered our call. Marcom, the best Douchebag of all!

As morning came, we assembled again. The dragon had whimpered away!
We snuck through the woods, tears in our eyes, to where our hero did lay.
“Grieve not,” he said, as breath left his lungs, and as his body grew cold.
“Pick up your arms! Take back our land! And remember the lessons I’ve told!”

His message so strong, we took to the woods – hundreds of Douchebag’s men.
We spring forth each night, swords in hand, to challenge the invaders again.
Remember this! Fight back you must, though the Overlord seeks to bind you.
Cut off his mark, and head to the woods; we vow we’ll be there to find you!

-Anonymous

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cdmoyer

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