I am Sir Adrian, son of Jack. I am a Monk. Not the “sit in the monastery and chant all day” kind of monk, mind you. I am more of a “kill you with the touch of my quivering palm” kind of monk. The order I belonged to did have its quirks though. They didn’t allow us to talk or have any noises come forth from the mouth.
Growing up was difficult. All the little things used to really bother me, such as people touching me without washing or all the cracks in the stone floor of the practice room. It’s hard enough trying to avoid being hit by your opponent without having to also avoid stepping on one of the cracks. Nobody really understood it, and it was difficult to tell them without being able to talk and all.
But that’s all over with now. I’ve been dead for years now, living happily here in the afterlife. Where I am now everything is clean and free of cracks. The funeral was nice. They found my body a nice spot, although I had to haunt the monks for years to get my coffin placed just right in the geometric center of the burial grounds, make sure the coffin was exactly parallel to the other coffins, and that it was kept dust-free.
I’m sure the monks grew to hate my constant haunting. They also kept sending these “heros” down to get rid of me, instead of just wiping my coffin down (and the coffins around me to… my body needs a nice clean view). Heros were no trouble to get rid of. It was the dirty boots that made me angry usually. NO respect for my burial place! That’s okay I suppose, my quivering palm has become an icy grip of feng shui justice!
I find myself spending a lot of time back in the old world, just to check up on my body’s resting place, and to make a little noise when the monks forget to clean my coffin off. I was quite surprised the other day to find my body missing! the coffin was just left open, the lid just thrown on the ground. This was just unacceptable!
I pleaded with the monks to find my body and make it right, but they just pretended they didn’t understand me, pointing to their ears and shrugging as if to indicate they’ve given up listening as well as speaking. I swear I saw Monk Famtu smirking. I just know he had something to do with this.
Finally, I had enough and got angry, nearly killing one of the Monks. Let him see what it’s like resting down here! They ran all ran off and left me alone for days. I couldn’t leave, couldn’t return to the final resting place, now with my body who knows where!
It seems my wailing and crying through the night finally got to the monks. They sent another group of adventurers down to get rid of me (as if it were so easy!). The one was a dwarf in breastplate with some sort of magical resistance. I had a hard time giving him my touch of icy death… spry for a little fat guy.
The monk they brought down held my interest. he was not like the monks from above. Okay, so he fought a lot like them, but he spoke! He yelled things to his friends even. I’ve never before seen a fighting monk who used his mouth, and it threw me off a bit, making it hard to concentrate on reaching into his chest and squeezing his heart full of ectoplasm.
The fight was looking like a draw. They couldn’t do anything to me (and I could always return whenever I wanted), and I was having trouble killing them to get thier dirty feet off my floor. I hid behind the coffin, pretending to die, wailing “fiiiind mee cooorpseee!” Maybe these fools will be useful afterall and actually find my corpse, which I’m sure those monks hid on purpose.
the ugly fat dwarf sat down and prayed for a while, clearly I had shaken him in combat that he needed to seek the sanctuary of his Diety… if only he knew what I knew, after having been dead!
They got up and ran off after a bit, everyone following behind the bobbing dwarf who tried to run in his armor. The monk looked like he was walking in slow motion to keep up. I hid behind Tommy’s grave which gave me a good position to spring out and surprise them if they returned, thinking I could take out the weak sorcerer who kept to the back of the group.
To my utter surprise, they returned with my body! To this day I’m still not sure where or how they found it, but I’m glad to have it back. There was some strange dirt over parts of my body, but I was able to haunt the monks enough to go down and clean me off and get my crypt cleaned up again. I wish I was able to manifest myself to be able to move things in the old world without getting my sticky ectoplasm over everything.
These days I’m back to mostly staying in the after life, and only visiting my body once in a while to make sure that everything is in order. Order is good. Order feels good and sane.